The Winter Of Thy Soul

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The winter of thy soul has been so long in the making thou hast become numb to its spawning.
A hoary frost has crept o’er the windows of thy mind to shutter it from a warm day’s dawning.
The ice from bitter skies sheathes the remnant where once the heart of a servant beated.
Be not dismayed, friend, for Love, tis the fire that shall melt thee, and the freeze shall be forever defeated.

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2 Comments

  1. this is such a lovely poem

    it feels pedantic and presumptuous of me to point this out but perhaps i may put as a question: are the grammatical errors deliberate?

    in

    The winter of thy soul hast been so long

    and

    A hoary frost hast crept

    it should strictly be ‘has’: ‘hast’ is second person singular (thou hast, but the winter has)

    and, even more strictly speaking, in

    for Love tis the fire

    could be rendered as

    for Love is the fire

    because ’tis’ is a contraction of ‘it is’, but here of course you can argue poetically it emphasises Love, as in ‘for Love, it is the fire…’

    in another beautiful poem you do something similar:

    To thee I giveth my all in all

    should really be

    To thee I give my all in all

    because ‘giveth’ is third person singular (The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, but I give to thee, Lord, my all, for example…)

    feel free, of course, to ignore and delete this comment: i send it in friendship and appreciation, certainly not as a criticism!

    peace & love
    sebastian

    Like

    1. Thank you for taking the time to compose such a well thought out response. Indeed I am taking some poetic license by misconstruing the meanings of the old English, though I do not wish the word play to get in the way of reader. I did make a couple of changes per your suggestion where the cadence I’m after is not affected. Thanks!

      Liked by 1 person

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