I have finally come to the conclusion that I will never understand this place. I am indeed a stranger here and, as the years go by, I feel more and more out of place.
When I was in elementary school, I began to choke on a peppermint candy. When the water fountain failed to dislodge it, two teachers, each grabbing a leg, turned me upside down and shook me. I can still see through tear-blurred eyes the candy falling from my lips and shattering on the hard cafeteria floor.
Most days, I feel like I am still upside down and shaking. Such a view makes for very little progress, at least in the eyes of the status quo. And it is a rather difficult perspective to convey.
But it reminds me that sometimes God has to grab me by the legs, turn me upside-down, and give me good shaking to get out whatever is choking me inside.
I am learning that I am best when I stop struggling to get back on my feet to what most folks would call right side up.